


Retrospection to Extant

by MyQuizRutherford



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Dragon Age: Inquisition Spoilers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Post-Dragon Age: Inquisition, Post-Trespasser, Romance, Smut, Trespasser Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-18
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-04-26 23:49:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5025472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyQuizRutherford/pseuds/MyQuizRutherford
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rayne Trevelyan is trying to adjust to the life she has now, one that will never be the same since the second she stepped into the Conclave. The wrong place at the right time. She's grown over these few years, but has it been for the better or for the worse? Comparing her once tragic life to the life she never expected, she truly wonders how much more she can take.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Retrospection to Extant

**Author's Note:**

> This is my Spoiler-Warning. The story will bounce back and forth to the past and the present, which is after the events of Trespasser. So just a heads up, it will get into said events, so if you haven't played it, and don't want to be spoiled, then I suggest not to read this. But if you have played it, or just want to know, then read away! :D

_Two sets of feet glide along the ground within the forest, never leaving a trace…_

_Shadows of black move along the trees. A recent initiate proves why she has earned the name with the notorious Crows._

_Rayne Rodier-Trevelyan has a niche for her deadly movement, one she was trained for by her mother, Elle Rodier, moving alongside her, the reason why she’s reared as a Crow through blood ties, no other life she can live for._

_Besides her mother, her companion gives her a name, her Mabari Red, that is surprisingly good at following orders, and has proven a valuable asset to the Crows, and a close friend to Rayne._

_They come across a Templar camp, the average training session, but a man stands out in the crowd, a young man, moving and training with recruits as if he was born and bred to be a Templar. This man has caught Rayne’s eye in more ways than one over the years she’s passed through._

_But this time was different. She couldn’t. He doesn’t need to know now, it will ruin him and his career as a Templar, and he needs to stay focused._

_Her mother looks to her, “He needs to know.”_

_Rayne shakes her head, “Not now.”_

_Her thoughts overcame her, and she beckoned her mom and Mabari and moved past the camp._

_Seconds after she leaves, a young, 18-year old Cullen draws his gaze up to where she once was, then looks downward, a ghost of a smile rested on his face, hopeful that he’ll see her another day._

_***************_

_Rayne moves quietly, but with haste, to the mystery of her mother, even Red. All they can see is the trail of her long raven-colored hair behind her._

_“Going somewhere?”_

_Rayne sighs, “Just away from here. We have a job to do right?”_

_“You should’ve told- “_

_“Not now!” She turns in apology. “Not right now. Later, when my head’s on straight.”_

_Red barks in response. Rayne smiles at her and continues to move ahead._

_They come upon a group of men and women preparing their assault on the South. It’s Rayne, Elle and Red that are assigned to take them out before this group meets with the others. Divide and conquer is the best way the Crows like to go about it._

_While stationed within the cover of the trees, Elle draws out her bow and arrow, while Rayne prepares her blades and readies herself with Red._

_Then Elle unleashes her assault with arrows below on the group, as Rayne and Red jump down and seamlessly wipe out the group one by one, and after about 15 minutes or so, there appears to be no one left._

_Then an arrow pierces Rayne’s side, along her slightly protruding stomach…._

* * *

 

Rayne wakes up in a cold sweat, breathing heavily, tears trailing down her face. She looks over to her husband, praying to the Maker that she didn’t wake him. She sighs in relief that she hasn’t.

She makes her way out of the bed, and walks out to her balcony at Skyhold. She’s aged more in these months since the Inquisition resorted to a peace-keeping force. Not only her new job, but what she has to leave behind, and what she’s lost.

She’s convinced on leaving Skyhold, just not yet. They don’t know when they’re going, they just know it’s soon. She trails her hand down to her prominent abdomen, underneath her loosely-fitted tank and loosely fitting pants. Nothing she usually wears fits anymore. She smiles to herself, knowing that there is something worth living for.

Then her hand trails up to her left arm, or what’s left of it. It’s simply a nub now, no more use can come out of it. Her expression goes despondent, and she closes her eyes, clutching the arm and mark that once was. 

She hears a groan behind her, but doesn’t move from her position.

“Mrs. Rutherford?”

She can’t help but smile at his rendition of her name. 

Then after a moment, Cullen brings himself behind her, his arms wrap around her waist. Her back rests against his bare chest. He’s obviously sensed something is wrong. No sense in her keeping it to herself.

“To think that Skyhold was his fortress this entire- “

“Hey, don’t blame yourself. You couldn’t have known.”

“But I _should_ have. He knew way too much, and I just fell for all of it…”

“You weren’t the only one Rayne.”

“I was the Inquisitor! Everything was on me. I believed I was chosen, but I wasn’t. I was a mistake.”

Cullen sighs, “So we’re at the root of the matter.” He stands back, takes her hand and guides her towards the bed as he sits down, looking up at her. 

“Listen to me, you were the Inquisitor yes, but you weren’t alone. You had an army and a force that believed in you, that believed you were chosen by the Divine and Andraste. You became what you were, not because of your _mark_ or the loss of it. But because of what _you_ were able to do, build an Inquisition from nothing to a force that intimidated Ferelden and Orlais.

You were given the mark for a temporary amount of time, to help those who needed it, and to save the world twice. You are still that woman. The woman I have adored since the first moment I saw her. I knew you were going to be special, although I didn’t know how back then. And now I see the product in the beautiful wife I am looking at today. A life that only existed in my dreams. I fell in love _again_ with you, not your mark or what you could do with it. And I feel that there are many others that still share my sentiment…”

Rayne chuckles, “Well, I hope not. Unless you’re up for sharing.”

Cullen laughs, “Oh Maker no! But you know what I mean love. And keep smiling, it reminds me that I’m in a dream I never have to wake up from.”

Rayne brings her hand and runs it through Cullen’s growing blonde hair. And in turn, Cullen holds her, resting his forehead on his wife’s belly, his eyes closed, as he caresses the delicate nub of her left forearm, something that has become a part of her as her mark once was.

“I’m not as strong as you think I am. I wish I was, but I’m not…”

Cullen looks up and guides her into his lap, “You don’t have to be love. The void that you feel, it’s my job to love you and take care of you enough, to where that void is the last thing on your mind. I will be strong for you Mrs. Rutherford.” 

Rayne rests her head on his. “Why thank you Mr. Rutherford.”

He kisses her softly, caressing her cheek, “Always my love…”

**Author's Note:**

> Well, just a tidbit. These all will be chapters in a story but they can also stand alone, that is the way I chose to write them. So just because I might end it on a certain note, don't lose hope that there's none left. I don't have a set amount of chapters I plan to do, but I just put 7 for now as a threshold. But there just might be many more! See you guys for now!


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